Lyrics
Baby…You could do Worse Than Me
I was having fun with this one. This is the longest song I have written. It is more like a play to be performed in full view of a live audience. Perhaps I am stuck in the realm of rock and roll and looking for more depth and nuance in today's songs. Two things I like…great guitar and drumming, which appear to be on their way to a lost art as AI becomes a reality. In some ways, this song or play is a protest song about the bar scene, dating, and life after 5:00 PM. A couple of weeks later, rereading it after it percolated, I decided it needed a second part to balance it. I then wrote the second part, which is the response from the redhead at the bar. I think there are some excellent lines in this. Lots of cliches in this as well. I would love to see someone perform this—maybe a Saturday Night Live skit.
Recently…
strolling down memory lane
I needed to feed this thirst of mine
Racing off to a local bar
Loaded with targets galore
Drinks were half-priced
And they were partying full-bore
Music was blaring
When I stole the dance floor,
The ladies took little notice
So, I yelled out at the ladies,
Pounding shots at the bar….
Baby…Baby….
You can do a lot worse…
Than this man you see….
Got no comb over.
No beer belly is hanging on me
No gold chains or rings
Holding me back
My face is natural
Got no tattoos on my back
The former bird in my beard
Skedaddled last week
Baby…Come on,
Baby…. you can do a lot worse than me…
The ladies were aghast.
As I continued to prance,
Elaine from Seinfeld got nothing on me
Slapped my butt two times
To show off my best side
Finally, one stunning redhead
Looked annoyed at my way
Stepping up my message
My voice nearly cleared the place.
Baby…Baby, you can do a lot worse
Than, the man you see
I shower and shave
With new clothes once a week
My truck has no rust
Or holes in the floor
My dog Bob is friendly
Well, most of the time
Cook a mean hot dog
Three meals at a time
Baby…come on, Baby
You can do a lot worse than me….
The ladies were now looking.
And shaking their heads
I’m not drunk yet
And sometimes I get stoned
Now, before
You deep fry this man’s chicken ….
My hair is a mess
And I rarely wear a dress
But I know I could rock
A tiny blue dress
Jimmy Choo shoes
Would look stunning on me
My manhood is solid
As Jell-O shots…you’ll see
I don’t need Depends
Come dance with me
I know you can’t take your eyes
Off me…
Baby…Baby….
You can do a lot worse.
Than the man you see….
Got no woman or man right now
No need to get back soon
To the chain gang anyhow,
Wind me up for the rest of the night
Baby…come on,
Baby, you can do a lot worse than me
I’m not an angel, but I have the devil inside
Like a stallion rearing its hoofs for a long ride
I’ve got great stamina…my record is five
Five long minutes before I close my brown eyes
Come and get it…Baby, I need your loving
I’m available on Saturday or any day of the week
And no, I won’t charge you a dime
For any of my time
Ladies…This week’s can’t-resist special
…take a chance on me
So, take a chance on me…
Baby…take a chance on me!
Baby…Baby…you can do a lot worse than me
I am looking for a lover for the night, don’t you see
My good looks and hairy Sasquatch chest
Are my gifts, you see
As we glide down the street, all will see
Baby, you see… My many gifts highlight me
Please think of me always with a sparkle in your eyes
Baby…Baby…come on, baby…you can do a lot worse than me
Do a lot worse than me…take a chance on me….
My moves were not working, it seemed, with this crowd
It was time to pull that last trick of mine
So, I pulled down my pants while taking a quick step
I showed off my sweet two-day-old Teddy Bear undies for all to see
Ladies…a team of wild horses should not break our wicked times
You can buy me drinks and can relish more than this
Remember, every breath you take…every move I make
Baby…. you could do a lot worse than a man like me!
No takers, it seems…too bad, ladies…you are missing your chance
I am dancing right now to the next bar
You all wish for the unlocked door to my candy store
Remember, I have great stamina, which you will never see
Baby…Baby, as I dance the night away out the door,
Baby…come on, Baby…you could do much worse than me…
Goodbye to you all…you could do a lot worse than me!
(Prequel to this song… Baby…You Ain’t Never Going to Have Me)
